


Lucky Bastard

by ellebeedarling



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Fluff, prize giveaway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-07 23:25:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11069259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellebeedarling/pseuds/ellebeedarling
Summary: Joker reflects on his relationship with Adelaide Shepard.





	Lucky Bastard

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spooniefulofsugar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spooniefulofsugar/gifts).



> I held a giveaway for my followers on tumblr, and spooniefulofsugar won the grand prize - a fic of no less than 3K words with the pairing/scenario of choice. Shoker was requested, and this is my attempt at filling that desire. I'm not sure I exactly delivered what was asked for, but I thought this turned out nice. Hope you enjoy!

Joker remembered well the first time he’d laid eyes on Adelaide Shepard. She was pretty, yeah, of course she was, but it wasn’t that overwhelming beauty that made guys do double takes or anything like that. It was a simple beauty that took a guy's breath away the longer he stared. But he wasn't really one for staring at his CO back in those days. The first time they'd had an actual conversation, he'd jumped to all the wrong conclusions regarding her intentions, and Shepard had apologized softly with a warm smile that would have made his heart flutter if he'd been paying enough attention. At the time he'd been too busy being embarrassed to notice.

 

Then she'd gone and died on him, and it was only then that Joker felt how much Shepard had meant to him. Was he in love with her? Doubtful. They'd had a great working relationship, and he could easily admit that he found her interesting. But she was his CO and the most powerful woman in the galaxy. Joker might have been good at what he did, but he'd never held any illusions that women were falling over themselves for the chance to be with him. Nevermind that Shepard had told him once that she found him attractive. That was just something people said to make someone feel better about themselves.

 

However, her friendship had become important to him, in a way that was both surprising and heart breaking after she was gone. That she'd died to save him chewed and gnawed at him making him feel worthless and despicable. The first human Spectre had died to save a measly helmsman – one with brittle bone disease at that. His friends, the crew, tried to cheer him, to help him through the survivor's guilt that they’d assumed he felt – and he supposed there was a healthy helping of guilt in there – but it was his sister who’d really helped him put things in the proper perspective.

 

“ _ What'cha drinking?” _

 

_ Joker gives his sister a sidelong look before draining his current glass. “It's called bourbon, Gunny, and before you ask, no... you can't have some. You're too young.” _

 

_ Hillary Moreau sighs and rolls her eyes, “What's the point of having an older brother if they won't let you drink before it's legal?” _

 

“ _ My sole purpose and joy in life is annoying you,” he informs her, which earns him a light elbow to the ribs. As much as they may tease and fight and argue, Gunny knows how fragile her brother's body actually is. She'll never do anything to hurt him. _

 

“ _ Want to talk about her?” _

 

“ _ Talk about who?” _

 

“ _ Commander Shepard. Isn't she the reason you're out here drinking alone in the middle of the night?” _

 

_ With a will, Jeff forces himself to meet his sister's gaze. Green eyes, matching his own, gaze back at him, full of sympathy and love, and it all comes tumbling out of his mouth, aided by the alcohol, no doubt. Shepard's friendship had possibly been the most important relationship he'd ever had, save his family, and now that it's gone, he isn't sure he'll ever feel like he belongs anywhere again. _

 

When Cerberus contacted him to offer him a job, he’d thrown the datapad across the room just to listen to it shatter. After a few week's consideration, he'd accepted if for no other reason than the promise that he'd get to fly again. That's what he told himself anyway. It wasn't for Shepard... Oh, who the hell was he kidding? It was all for Shepard.

 

**

 

He rolls onto his side, just to feel her scoot closer, humming contentedly in her sleep. His fingers card through her chestnut hair, so silky to the touch, and he nuzzles against the top of her head. If he never left the circle of her arms again, he'd be perfectly happy with that.

 

**

 

When she’d come back from the dead, it had taken all his self will not to throw himself into her arms. It would have been disastrous. Even with his spiffy new heavy bone weave, he was still fragile, prone to snapping a femur at any moment. What a way to welcome back the most important person in your life – throwing yourself at her then landing in a crumpled heap of agony on the floor. Instead, he walked alongside her and talked briefly about how difficult the last two years had been, leaving out all the little details that gave away just how low he'd sunk, but her sharp eyes and keen sense of understanding probably caught it anyway.

 

They’d boarded the new Normandy together, and after touring the ship and getting herself settled, Shepard had come to talk to him. He’d blathered on about leather seats until she was grinning and rolling her eyes good naturedly at him. Things went on from there.

 

From time to time, he’d wander into the cockpit and find her sitting in his seat, staring out at the expanse of stars, face white and brown eyes blown wide with apprehension. Joker would ease her out of her anxiety, lightening the mood with jokes or sarcastic remarks until she was laughing and teasing him right back. It had felt good.

 

It had felt better than good.

 

It was so slow and wandering that he almost hadn't recognized it for what it is. He was falling in love – of the head over heels, heart racing, sappy variety – with the first human Spectre. Too embarrassed to say anything, he continued to pine to himself, quietly watching her as she went about her business and saved the day again and again.

 

The first time he’d called her Addie had been as a joke. She’d scowled at him, but smiled. Shepard had the kind of smile that lit a room, and Joker's heart never failed to trip all over itself whenever he was the recipient of that smile. From then on, he’d called her Addie whenever he could just to get a glimpse of that smile.

 

_ Joker watches her as she staggers and sways toward his spot in the Normandy's lounge. Kasumi has vacated the room, though why Shepard had let her set up her bedroom in the bar, he'll never understand. He's come for a drink, as many of them often do, just to take the edge off. It is a dangerous mission – a suicide mission. While he is utterly confident in Shepard's ability to see them through this, he has to admit a certain level of nervousness. No one – not the Illusive Man, not Anderson – expects to see them again once they've passed through the Omega-4 relay. At times, that reality is more than a little hard to swallow. Bourbon often makes bitter pills go down a little easier, though. _

 

_ Addie must have had the same idea. Her purple drink sloshes over the rim of her glass as she flops next to him, sitting a little too close. She frowns at her pants. Of course the purple stain has landed on the white and not the black areas of her trousers. “That probably won't come out,” she mutters, then shrugs, putting the cup to her lips for a drink. _

 

_ Her earthy brown eyes meet his, and she gives him a drunken grin before sliding even closer and resting her head on his shoulder. “Joker,” she sighs, and he swallows hard. “I like you.” Her confession is accompanied by a willowy sigh and another grin, the kind only the truly inebriated can manage. _

 

“ _ I like you too. Hell just about everyone in the galaxy likes you, Commander.” _

 

_ Shepard slaps his leg. “None of that, now,” she chides. “I haven't been your commander for years.” _

 

_ Joker isn't exactly sure what she means by that, but he nods his agreement anyway and makes apologies. “How long you been down here drinking?” he asks, taking a small sip of his bourbon. It seems a shame to let it go to waste, but Shepard is immensely more entertaining than getting himself drunk. Besides the worry that had been eating away at him seems to have evaporated the instant he’d felt the warmth of her body pressed alongside his. _

 

“ _ Long enough,” she mutters cryptically. _

 

“ _ Want to talk about it?” _

 

_ The things they keep running into on this mission make the hunt for Saren seem like a walk in the park. Back then they'd all been so full of hope and naivety that they'd just rushed out and done it. No one ever doubted their ability to bring Saren in – well, Shepard's ability. This time around, things are different. All the members of the old crew are chafing under their Cerberus uniforms – appreciation for leather seats aside. They'd run into Kaidan on Horizon who'd voiced his doubts and suspicions – loudly. Joker had seen the way it hurt Addie, though she was reluctant to admit it. They'd just returned today from the Collector ship, and Joker had seen the haunted looks in Shepard's, Garrus', and Jacob's eyes. They are fighting evil on a magnitude that none of them can really comprehend. Their only logical response is to try to crush it. It is a natural reaction to reach for the bottle on days when reality becomes a little too real. _

 

_ Joker wraps his arm around her and gives her shoulder a squeeze. _

 

“ _ That's better,” she murmurs, taking another sip of her drink, and smiling up at him lazily. He is sure he's blushing. “Do you like me as your commander, because you have to, or as a friend?” _

 

“ _ You're a great friend, Addie,” he tells her sincerely. _

 

_ Her smile widens, increasingly dopey and adorably cute, causing Joker's heart to melt a little. “You're a great friend too, Joker. I couldn't imagine doing this without you here.” _

 

**

 

Addie squirms, nuzzling her face against the soft hair on his chest. His fingers continue to glide through her hair, nails scratching lightly against her scalp, lulling her back to sleep. His lips connect with her forehead, and he grins as she settles into his embrace once more and lets out a tiny snore.

 

**

 

_ His nerves are shot by the time he makes the trek to deck one. Addie is there waiting for him. How they'd gotten to this point, he doesn't exactly remember. All he knows is that it is now or never. They might very well be dead in a few hours. _

 

_ Shepard offers him a glass of wine, and they sit on the sofa. Humor is the crutch that he relies on more than his actual crutches to get him through times like these. Her laugh is easy and genuine as ever, and Joker feels himself begin to relax. _

 

_ Half the bottle of wine is gone – and, Joker notes, it's the good shit, the kind that bursts on your tongue with flavor and tickles your nose – before they do anything more than talk. Now or never, he reminds himself, cupping her jaw with his hand and leaning forward. Shepard meets him halfway, lips melding into a perfect embrace. Her lips are pliant and warm, sweet with the remnants of the wine, and he can't contain the muffled moan that escapes him. It's not the first time he's kissed her, and he prays to god it won't be the last. The crew is gone and they're en route to retrieve them now, but if this is the only chance they ever have, then he means to make the most of it. _

 

_ Addie is careful with him, but not enough to make him feel uncomfortable. Joker finds he can't get enough of her satin skin, her breathless murmurs of pleasure, the way her brows crease and her lips part as she climaxes. He follows her, chasing that bliss that only comes from being with someone you care about. _

 

_ He's still inside her, heart still hammering out an unsteady beat, when she meets his eyes. “I love you, Jeff,” she whispers, fingers stroking his beard, and Joker can only hope it doesn't sound trite when he repeats it back to her. _

 

**

 

Joker wakes with Addie half on top of him, and he grins. She's still out cold, and his arms wrap around her, holding her as close as he can get her. Her hair is tickling his nose, but he doesn't care. He just wants to bask in this moment for as long as he's able.

 

**

 

He'd never been more pissed off about anything than when the Alliance arrested Adelaide Shepard. Those assholes had their heads so far up their... assholes, that they couldn't see the chance they were throwing away. Even an idiot knew not to lock up the prize fighter just before the fight. For six long months, he waited for her. Each and every day, he walked - hobbled - past Alliance HQ just on the off chance that he'd catch a glimpse of her somehow. He never did, and he wasn’t allowed inside. Still, at least he'd been able to remain aboard the Normandy, and if he stole away to her cabin now and again to feel her presence and even smell her scent, well, he could have always blamed it on feeding the fish and that stupid hamster.

 

After the reaper invasion, Shepard was more determined than he'd ever seen her, and that was saying a lot. But she wore down more easily than ever, and saying Joker was concerned about her, was an understatement of the highest caliber. To watch the woman you love being beaten down by duty and self-sacrifice, was a horrible thing to see. So, Joker continued to help her the only way he knew how. The jokes and jests flowed between them as ever before, though her smile was more tired and her laugh less cheerful. Still, they warmed him, gave him some small hope for the future. Their nights in the captain's cabin ended with restless dreaming rather than intimacy most of the time, but the times they were able to carve out some space for each other became more and more precious. Every kiss, every touch, every place their bodies joined became a lifeline for both of them, bolstering their resolve to end the war so that they could be together.

 

And when they were finally able to take a little much needed shore leave, Joker planned to keep Addie locked in her grandiose apartment to let her heart and body heal. Of course things rarely went according to plan for Commander Shepard or the crew of the Normandy, and after a sushi date gone horribly wrong and a desperate race to keep her clone – Jesus H. Christ, Shepard had a clone – from stealing the Normandy, Joker told her a party was needed to settle everyone's nerves and help them all regain their momentum.

 

**

 

She turns over in her sleep, and Joker presses himself against her back, her tush nestled against his crotch. Willing his body's reactions away, he ghosts kisses along her shoulder and neck, then tucks her tightly in his arms, content to listen to her breathe.

 

**

 

_ The dress that Addie wears for the party makes it hard for Joker to form words into sentences. The smirk she gives him lets him know that she's well aware of the effect she's having on him. She works the room like this is a diplomatic function and shows no signs of relaxing and enjoying the company. Joker is prepared, however. This is the reason god invented horse-chokers after all. _

 

“ _ Addie, if you could relax for like... five minutes, that'd be great,” he says to her as she circles the apartment for the umpteeth time. _

 

“ _ Just trying to make sure everyone's having a good time,” she reminds him. _

 

“ _ Yeah, but are you having a good time?” _

 

“ _ Of course.” _

 

“ _ Not buying it,” he tells her. _

 

“ _ What would I have to do to prove it?” she asks, wrapping her arms around her lover where he's perched on a bar stool, and kissing the back of his neck before propping her chin on his shoulder. _

 

“ _ Drink this.” _

 

_ Shepard sniffs the glass warily. “Smells like mouthwash.” _

 

“ _ Just try it.” _

 

_ With a dubious look his way, she downs the contents of the cup and almost spits it all over the counter. “Ugh... Why? Why would you do this to someone?” She's coughing and spluttering and glaring at her lover while he laughs his ass off, and when she regains her composure, she decides it's time for a little payback. _

 

_ Chin held high, Shepard steps behind the bar and begins mixing ingredients into a shaker, turning her back to Joker for the last, “secret,” additions. When she's done, she pours it into several shot glasses. “Alright, tough guy,” she begins, “a little contest – you and me. The first one to tap out loses.” _

 

“ _ And what does the winner get?” _

 

_ Shepard taps her chin and thinks a moment then grins. “Sexual favor of choice.” _

 

_ Cortez, Kaidan, and Liara all groan. “Now there's something I could have gone my whole life without hearing,” Steve says. “Think I'll go find Vega.” _

 

“ _ Yeah,” Kaidan agrees. “Liara, care to dance?” _

 

“ _ Gladly,” the asari answers, quickly following the Major from the room. _

 

_ Oddly enough, Wrex, Grunt, and Zaeed want to see who will win the contest, and Joker begins to sweat as he imagines his own demise. He meets the challenge in Addie's eyes however, and grabs the first shot glass, tapping it quickly against her own before downing it. He nearly pukes, and his heart swells with an odd mixture of revulsion for the beverage and pride for his woman. Anyone who could beat Joker at his own game was a prize in his book. “That's my baby,” he thinks even as he groans and lifts the next glass. _

 

“ _ What's this even called, anyway?” Joker grimaces at the glass, not sure he wants to know. After giving it a sniff, which in hindsight he should have done before the first one, his eyes burn with the smell of onion. _

 

“ _ Oh, it's my own special brand of torment,” Addie says with a wicked grin. “I call it Shepard's Bulldozer.” _

 

“ _ The hell is in it?” Zaeed asks, taking a sniff and jerking his head away. _

 

“ _ Rum, Amaretto, and tequila,” she states, “with a hefty splash of onion juice and hot sauce.” _

 

“ _ No more,” Joker concedes victory to the cruelest woman in the galaxy, setting his glass back on the bar. _

 

“ _ Yes! I win!” she crows, though Joker can't honestly say he minds. It was always a bet that both of them would win. _

 

**

 

“ I could lay here staring at that view all day,” Addie murmurs sleepily, yawning and rubbing her eyes.

 

“ It's not bad,” Joker says, “If you prefer sand and water to stars, that is.”

 

“ They're equally beautiful in their own way,” she reminds him. “Besides, you might as well get used to it. We already paid for the house.”

 

“ I'm gonna be content being wherever you are,” he assures her.

 

“ You're so sappy sometimes.” Addie turns her head to grin at him.

 

“ Thought that was why you married me,” and he can't resist stealing a quick kiss.

 

“ I married you for your stunning good looks and quick wit, but mostly because you make a mean omelet.”

 

“ Trying to drop a hint?”

 

“ I'm just saying I think the savior of the galaxy deserves breakfast in bed on her first morning as a married woman.”

 

“ It's been years, Addie. You can't milk that whole 'savior of the galaxy' thing much longer.”

 

She rolls to face him, grin splitting her face. “What if we just skip breakfast altogether, then?”

 

“ I don't know,” he muses. “I'm pretty hungry.”

 

Fingers skating up the inside of his thigh, make him forget any snarky comeback he could think up. Through all the years of being apart due to the Normandy's crash and Shepard's recovery, he'd longed and hoped for days like these. Now they're together, husband and wife, in their own little slice of paradise on a secluded island, and as her mouth descends on his, he can't help being reminded that he's the luckiest bastard in the galaxy.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and for any comments or kudos! 
> 
> Find me on tumblr: ellebeedarling.tumblr.com
> 
> Much love,  
> Elle


End file.
